Behind the Ribbon

When you’re diagnosed with breast cancer, you quickly learn that the word choice becomes complicated. Nothing feels optional, yet every decision carries weight. One of the biggest decisions I made was to undergo a double mastectomy with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction—at the same time.

It was not the easier route. It was not the shorter surgery. But for me, it was the right one.

This is what I wish I had known before going into it.

Why I Chose to Do Both Surgeries at Once

I can give you all the medical reasoning in the book, but the truth is this: we had a trip planned to Jamaica. It was the last one we’d take with all of our kids still living at home, something we’d planned for over a year, something that finally came together. And then breast cancer hit.

A double mastectomy removes both breasts to eliminate existing cancer and reduce the risk of recurrence. DIEP flap reconstruction uses your own tissue—skin and fat from the lower abdomen—to rebuild the breasts while preserving the abdominal muscles.

I chose to do them together for a few key reasons:
    •    One major surgery instead of multiple
    •    One long recovery instead of several shorter ones
    •    Using my own tissue rather than implants
    •    Waking up with no sensation in your chest

Emotionally, that last point mattered more than I expected. I needed to feel like me when I woke up.

What the Surgery Itself Is Like

I am not even going to sugar coat this,,,it is hell but worth it,

This is a long operation—often 8 to 12 hours—performed by two surgical teams working simultaneously: one removing breast tissue, the other reconstructing using the DIEP flap.

It is complex. It is meticulous. It requires a highly skilled plastic surgeon who specializes in microsurgery.

You don’t wake up feeling “fixed.” You wake up sore, swollen, groggy, and overwhelmed—but alive. And that matters.

The Hospital Stay: More Than Physical Healing

Most patients stay in the hospital 3–5 days. During that time:
    •    Your flap is monitored constantly to ensure blood flow
    •    You’ll have drains. I had 6 that needed to be emptied several times a day
    •    Nurses check you frequently—yes, even through the night
    •    Standing up straight takes time – you will need a walker
    •    Walking feels like learning again

But something unexpected happens during those days: you realize how strong you are.

Each lap around the hallway is a victory. Each small improvement feels monumental.

Recovery at Home: Slow, Real, and Non-Linear

Recovery from a combined mastectomy and DIEP flap is not fast. This is major surgery.

What recovery actually looks like:
    •    Weeks, not days
    •    Fatigue that comes in waves
    •    Emotional ups and downs
    •    Learning patience with your body
    •    Letting other people help you (this part is hard)

But there is also healing—real, visible healing. Your body adapts. You regain strength. You feel ownership of your body again.

The Emotional Side No One Prepares You For

This surgery is not just about breasts. It’s about identity, control, fear, grief, and survival.

There are moments of:
    •    Mourning what was lost
    •    Gratitude for what remains
    •    Shock at your own resilience
    •    A deep, quiet pride you never asked for

Choosing this path does not make you brave. Getting through it does.

What I Would Tell Anyone Considering This Option

If you are facing this decision, here is what matters most:
    •    Find surgeons you trust completely and listen to them
    •    Ask every question—there are no stupid ones
    •    Prepare your support system ahead of time
    •    Give yourself permission to heal slowly
    •    Remember: reconstruction is not vanity—it is recovery

Doing both surgeries at once is not for everyone. But for those who choose it, it can be empowering, efficient, and deeply healing.

What you will need (Links attached to the items):

I am not a medical professional, but this list was reviewed with and approved by my oncologist and PA. Always check with your surgeon to make sure these items are right for your specific recovery

1. Drain Management

You will have multiple drains.

• Measuring cup + notebook (track output)
• Drain belt or drain camisole (with pockets)
• Safety pins (backup for showers)
• Alcohol wipes (for stripping lines)

2. Sleep & Positioning Support

You cannot lie flat for a while.

• Wedge pillow system (upper body + knees)
• OR recliner (many DIEP patients sleep here)
• Small pillows for arm support
• Pillow for between knees

3. Compression Garments

You’ll likely be sent home in some form, but extras matter.

• Surgical bra (front-closing, no underwire)
• Abdominal binder (VERY important for DIEP)
• Second binder so one can be washed

4. Bathroom Survival

This part is real.

• Raised toilet seat
• Wipe extender
• Shower chair
• Handheld shower head

5. Clothing That Doesn’t Fight You

• Button-front or zip-front tops – these were a MUST fo me!
• Drain-friendly robes
• Loose, high-waisted pants
• Abdominal-friendly underwear ((you will be wearing shape wear but I needed that extra layer)

6. Pain + Comfort Tools

With Surgeon Approval

• Silicone scar sheets or gel
• Unscented soap ( I used surgery soap bit any unscented soap should be fine)
• Soft washcloths
• Non-adhesive gauze
• Walker: you wont be able to stand up straight and don’t push it

7. Nutrition & Healing Support

Your body is rebuilding itself, this is not the time to worry about your weight.

• Protein shakes
• High-fiber snacks (pain meds cause constipation)
• Stool softener (ask surgeon)
• Big water bottle

OFTEN FORGOTTEN BUT CRITICAL

8. Mental & Emotional Support

This surgery is physically AND psychologically intense.This is not a vanity surgery, it is a survival surgery.

• Journal
• Notes app for questions/feelings
• Easy distractions (TV, audiobooks)
• Permission to not be “positive”

9. Caregiver Tools

It reduces fear for everyone

• Written med schedule
• Drain chart
• Emergency contact list
• Surgeon instructions printed

THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU

• Your abdomen will feel tight, numb, foreign
• Standing fully upright takes time
• Emotional waves hit after surgery, not before
• Recovery is not linear — good days and bad days

Nothing about this is weakness.

WHY THIS MATTERS FOR RAW PINK

These are exactly the items women quietly struggle to afford:

• Drain camisoles
• Compression garments
• Scar care
• Comfort tools

They are not “extras.”
They are recovery necessities

Final Thoughts

A double mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction is not just a medical procedure—it is a reclaiming of your body after cancer tries to take it from you.

This journey changes you. It strips you down and builds you back up—literally and figuratively.

And if you are standing at the beginning of this road, unsure and afraid, know this:

You are stronger than you think.
Your body is capable of incredible things.
And healing—real healing—is possible.